This Weird Little World

I love having a blog. I love seeing it transform and grow and change. I love that I think about it a lot. I love that it makes me feel connected. I love how it spawns friendships. I love that I'm committed to preserving it. I love that it challenges me. I love that it is single-handedly responsible for my interest in and passion for photography. I love it even though I don't always understand it.

I struggle sometimes. Knowing what to share and how much to share. I'm always surprised when someone I knew five, ten, even fifteen years ago, pops into my life again because they read my blog and took the time to tell me. That's amazing. Regardless, I'm continuously thinking about how maintaining a blog is so...public. Anyone can read it. When you google my name, it's the first thing that pops up. Parents of my students read. Old high school teachers read. Childhood friends, college acquaintances, former lovers, strangers. 

In this odd, peculiar, fascinating way, it's a link connecting me to all sorts of people. That fact in itself is thrilling. But it's also terrifying. I've always been a private person--with my emotions, thoughts, life. There are things I've wanted to blog about because they are often at the forefront of my mind. I don't, because they are personal, and a huge part of me thinks they should be honored as such, especially when they involve the privacy of others. Then, there's this other part of me that doesn't really care. In twenty years, will it even matter? Will all of these thoughts still be here? Will they be stagnant and obscure? Or relevant and alive?

I become annoyed on facebook and twitter very easily. Social media teaches me a lot about who I am and how I perceive others. I think the way in which technology transformed our society in the last decade is unbelievable. This blog teaches me in a profound way. It doesn't take long for me to form an opinion about someone based on how they project themselves online. I've been culling my online consumption lately, trying to weed out unnecessary "noise." That might sound harsh. It's simply the truth. I'm often left wondering how I'm perceived by others on here. At the end of the day, I hope I come across as sincere. 

When I sat down to write this post, I had no idea where I was going with it. I was feeling a little disconnected, even though in actuality, I try to remain at least marginally detached from the internet on a regular basis. I am proud to have a presence but possess no real desire to increase it. I'm aware that sounds contradictory. It doesn't make sense, even in my mind. I love being here while simultaneously cringing at the thought that I'm here almost every day. 

Blogging is a tricky beast. I don't know if I'll ever fully understand it. Does anyone? Do you? Why do you come here, or anywhere online for that matter? What pulls you into something, causing you to follow and return over and over again? Conversely, what makes you leave? What turns you off? I'm genuinely curious as I try and determine that for myself in this weird little online world we're all a part of.

Thanks for listening.

Snapshots + My Random Brain

1). As a self-proclaimed opposer of naps (unless it's in a hammock), I would like to announce that I napped the other day and it was awesome. (Well actually, that's flat-out lie, because I tried to nap and couldn't, so I watched Law & Order on my iPad while lying in bed in the middle of the afternoon. Kind of close to napping, so I'll take it).

2). I was in the city yesterday setting up for summer camp at school (I'm teaching half days for the next three weeks). I found myself with a couple of free hours afterwards, so I set out in search of a pretty dress to wear to an upcoming wedding. After extensive scouting, I left with three striped shirts and no dress.

3). My very favorite thing to do on a day off is take myself out to the french pastry shop in town and sample different items on the menu. They recently added fancy donuts and I enjoyed two with my coffee while sitting outside in a light drizzle. Heaven.

4). I didn't plan on it, but my sandals matched my strawberries last weekend and that observation alone made me absurdly (like wickedly, strangely) pleased. Weirdo.

5). Clouds.

6). Why are kitchen tables so interesting?

How's that for random today? Here's a few more that don't correspond to the photos:

-Blogging is so narcissistic. Sometimes it freaks me out, but mostly I think "whatever" and roll with it.
-Last night, I listened to this song at full blast and made up a spastic dance/robot routine.
-Shake Shack.

Have a killer weekend!

Rise and Shine

I'm attempting to shake up my routine by showering at night in order to carve out an extra fifteen minutes in the morning so I can drink my coffee in my living room instead of on the train. Or style my hair. Or watch the news. Or press the snooze button. Man, I really love the snooze button.

What's your [weekday] morning routine? If you tell me you sleep in past 8 and spend an hour in bed luxuriously reading the paper, I pretty much think your life is perfect.

(1948 illustration above by American artist John Gannam. A few more below, because they're cheery and fun).

Back to Basics

I've been thinking about technology lately. Specifically, the never-ending internal battle that rages over "how much is too much." Do you sometimes look at the clock and realize you've been on the computer for five straight hours? Do you fear that your children won't feel as excited as you remember feeling about owning your first library card? I do.

On the other hand, the advances in the field of technology amaze me. Look how far our world has come. The other night, I video-skyped with my mom in China...from my phone. Every day, I am able to share my stories and photos with hundreds of people from around the globe in this space. If a wrong turn is made while driving, I can redirect the route on the GPS in approximately 10 seconds. Life offers more complexity now, but also more accessibility. Is that such a bad thing?

I'm never quite sure how to strike an appropriate balance relative to both my consumption of technology and my thoughts about it. Our world is changing. It's going to keep changing. Shouldn't we embrace that? And yet, there's always that little voice telling me to leave it. Let it go for awhile. Unplug. Do it the old-fashioned way.

What's your take?

(Awesome "Silence TV" art prints by Gianmarco Magnani, $18 each. More here).

Knock Knock...

Know any good jokes? I am notoriously bad at remembering them and therefore have a pitiful repertoire. In need of a good laugh today, so please, step right up to that virtual mic there. Here's one from a student:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
What are you, an owl or something?

Photos are random and from the last several days. Can you tell how exciting life's been? I mean, I took a picture of our hand soap. (In it's defense, it smells uh-may-zing). Also, please ignore the scuzzy sink. I need to clean.

This is What a Stuffy Head Will Do To You

I'm only a slightly embarrassed by this post. It's all, whoa--there's my face in three places and then...nothing else. I'm blaming my sinuses.  I've been feeling all sorts of blah and yuck since Sunday night when I came down with a nasty little stinker of a cold. Unfortunately, it arrived at the most inopportune time ever, and I can't really take a day off unless the thermometer climbs above 99. So yeah. My eyes are red, my nose is clogged and my students think my voice sounds silly. Emergen-C for breakfast, Dayquil for lunch and whatever allows me to crawl into bed by 8 for dinner.

I've been wearing my (tired eye) glasses, which led to a strange moment on the train when I caught my reflection in the window and almost did a double take because I didn't recognize myself. Has this ever happened to you? It made me laugh, which made me cough, which made me sneeze. And then it was my stop, so I gulped a few breaths of fresh air before dragging my butt home for a date with the tissue box and a mug o' tea.

Onwards!

(Public service announcement: wash your hands, get plenty of sleep and avoid people like me).

On Kindess, Kitchen Tables & Goodbyes

On the cape last weekend, my 83-year-old grandmother made the following proclamation at Sunday brunch: "For a long time, I believed intelligence was the most important thing. Now, I know it's kindness."

I wonder what I'll believe 60 years from now. I already agree with her on that one.

The photos are recent iPhone snaps of my kitchen table. Always a peaceful place for me, especially lately.

We put my mom on a plane to China last night. I'm thrilled for her and her upcoming year of adventure but can't suppress a twinge of anxiety: a year feels like a long time and I will miss her.

How Do You Stay Creative?

Sometimes, the only thing I want to do is sit on my couch with my laptop, a novel, a glass of wine and a movie.  I very much enjoy these activities and like to indulge them in order to relax and unwind.

Conversely, I also recognize how taking the time to create something--anything--makes my spirit come alive. Whether it's slinging words onto paper, using my hands to knead a loaf of bread, or dragging the paintbrush across a blank canvas, my core perks up.

I want to proactively set aside time for these endeavors in my everyday routines. I'm curious: Do you consider yourself creative? If so, how do you integrate creativity into your daily life in a way that feels natural and inspired?

P.S. This is one of the best articles I've ever read on the subject. Maybe one of the best articles I've ever read on any subject.


(Photo by Jules Falk Hunter)

Crazytown

Whoa Nellie, it's not even 8:00 AM and this day is crazytown. It started in the shower at approximately 5:14 AM, when I was minding my own business, sudsing up with my coconut shampoo. I heard a creak outside and then another and then all of a sudden, whooosh!, shower curtain flung wide open and there's Tiho with sleepy eyes, a sheepish smile and a big "hello!" I screamed so loud, I'm sure the neighbors heard it. His intention wasn't to scare me, which made the situation all the more hilarious. Simply an early morning pee three hours ahead of schedule and excitement to find me still in the house. Oy.

It got crazier with my walk to the train in the heart of the most torrential thunderstorm I've experienced in years. Lightening illuminating the whole sky, rain so heavy and fast it shot sideways and thunderclaps so boom boom booming, I was sure I was about to die. Two cars passing, with windows rolled down and offers for a lift to the station. Strange men, thank you very much, but no thanks, I'd rather take my chances with the electricity and the tip of my umbrella.

I finished reading a really good but really bizarre book on my commute and am feeling like there's a full moon tonight even though I know there isn't. I just opened my notebook to jot down a few things and realized the most crazytown thing of all: in twelve days we leave for our two-and-a-half-week-long trip to Europe and I haven't done a single thing besides book our Paris apartment.

So, with wishes for a happy weekend, I beg of you to leave some insight on things to do in Paris, France and Prague, Czech Republic. Tiho has Bulgaria covered.

Please and thank you, and apologies in advance for what is, perhaps, my most random post ever.

Photo of Prague by Natasha on Flickr.

A Sensorial Symphony

The title conveys what I cannot. (So much beauty, I could cry). Quite a few of these have turned now. The softness of pink into the vibrancy of green.

Side note: Several years ago, I was informed that I reminded someone of a "perpetually happy hot pink garden gnome fairy." It was meant as a compliment, but I am still pondering the deeper meanings embedded within, and how they have inadvertently affected me. It is true that I have an unabashed girlish side, and am usually quite cheerful, but it's the garden gnome part that leaves me wondering.

Thoughts?


(all images my own)

A Few Thoughts

 

I woke up at 11:00 AM after turning my alarm off when I received the middle of the night call about today's snow day.

Yesterday was exceptionally long and tiring, so I feel extra grateful right now.

I cannot decide whether to stay in pajamas and do whatever I please or try and attack a bunch of items on my to-do list. 

Last night's walk home from the train in the heart of the snowstorm felt like a scene from a movie.

I am so happy for the steaming cup of coffee in front of me because up until this morning, I (oddly) lost my taste for it after last week's stomach bug.

I officially began working on my master's thesis this week. It is due in three months and I am simultaneously exhilarated and terrified by all of the creative energy about to infiltrate my life.

Have a wonderful day!

Hung

Feminine clothing on hangers. Sweet + simple prettiness.

I often leave a hanger on the curtain rod of my bedroom window and rotate what I display there. Currently, my favorite rose-patterned scarf has the spotlight.

This is one of my favorite images and it has everything to do with that yellow dress.

(image 1, image 2, image 3, image 4, image 5)

Vintage Crayola

Inspired by these images of vintage crayola packaging. One of my secret dream jobs is crayon color-namer. On a somewhat related note, I also think I'd be a pretty kick-ass ice cream flavor engineer. Where do you wander in your professional daydreams?

(images)

Funk

Oh my. This week is kicking my ass. I'm tired, cranky and chugging coffee like it's going out of style. Just in a bit of a funk I think, trying to get myself back into the groove of teaching, graduate coursework, and the 5:00 am ringing of my alarm clock.

But, I've decided to put this smidge of negativity into a virtual box, tie it up with a piece of string and send it on its merry little way. And maybe more importantly, get my butt to bed by 9.


(image)

Fortune Cookies...In Bed

The night before last, we had Chinese take-out for dinner. I'm a big fan of Chinese food and an even bigger fan of fortune cookies. Well, that's a bit of a lie. I don't particularly enjoy the taste of fortune cookies. It's the "cracking open and reading the fortunes part" I like.

Tiho and I started the ridiculous tradition of adding the phrase "in bed" to the end of our fortunes. We didn't invent this silliness (I'm sure a few of you have done it...right?). We get a serious kick out of the fact that it works like magic on every fortune. Case in point:

"Accept your independence and use it wisely...in bed."

"Face facts with dignity...in bed."

"42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot...in bed."

Those were our fortunes the other night. I'm still bursting into random snicker fits today thinking about the highly improved modifications. 

What, I forgot to tell you I'm actually a 14-year-old boy? Guess the cat's out of the bag.


(image)

Hodgepodge

This is what I call a hodgepodge. A few things I've saved in the past week and now want to share. Perhaps they will spark a bit of random inspiration in you like they did in me.

These painted spoons, just because I think they're pretty:

This light-filled bedroom, just because it looks so inviting:

This girl, just because of her adorable haircut and extra-long eyelashes:

And this vignette, just because it makes me dream:

Happy Tuesday!

(image 1, image 2, image 3, image 4)

Rarrgh! Fooood!

...just seemed like a fitting title for this photo. That's how I looked tonight when I realized we were out of milk and I had to make my hot chocolate with water. Travesty.

(image by kawashi makotori via auburn & ivory)

Upon Awaking

Lately, I feel real contentment upon awaking. It's probably because I am able to choose when I actually do so, as it is still summer and I am a teacher. During the academic year, I'm awakened (jolted, really) by the treacherous alarm clock at the ungodly hour of 5:15 AM, and I am definitely not content. Catching the sunrise is sometimes nice, but it certainly doesn't make up for my exhausted state of mind.

But the last few weeks? I find myself lazily opening one eye to peer out the window, still quite sleepy, but more happy than anything, knowing that I can remain snuggled in my sheets for another few minutes, or even hours if I want to. Often, I do just that and let the morning quietly slip away in favor of sleep. But, sometimes, I make my way over to the curtains, peek through at the light pouring in, and feel grateful for a new morning, and the hot cup of coffee or tea waiting in the kitchen. I find mornings to be incredibly special, especially when you are able to savor them slowly.

Tell me, are you more inclined to savoring your mornings with an early rise, or would you happily let them pass for a few extra hours of rest? 


(image 1, image 2, image 3, image 4)

Let's Network

I've had a twitter account since February and up until quite recently, only used it to stalk other bloggers. Seriously, I never ever tweeted anything and just read through the feeds. I think I needed a few months to feel it out and you know, figure out what #ff and RT meant.

Well, I finally got my act together and tweet regularly now. I know, huge post-worthy news here ;-)

I am proud to say that my own twitter following has grown from 12 to a mighty 35 people in the past several weeks of being active and I'd love for you to come along for the ride if you do the twitter thang. You can follow me here. (@Exquisitebanana). I also added the link to my right sidebar in case you need a few hours to mull this over. I don't blame you, 'cause I am a little wacky. You gotta know what you're getting into.

The random photos of my lower half were taken (with the self-timer) to show off my new pajama shorts from Old Navy (and my bronzed bod, clearly). I did a little dance for you and everything. I bought each pair for a whopping $3 earlier this week. Oh how I love me a bargain. Somehow, they seemed fitting for this post. See what I mean about wackiness? I warned you...

The Lesson of the Cocoon

While researching folktales for a creative writing project recently, I came across this story and found it especially touching, considering my love for and fascination with butterflies, as well as the fragile complexities of the human mind and spirit. I think it is quite thought-provoking, and a good reminder for us all.

 The Lesson of the Cocoon

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening was nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we went through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly.

-Source Unknown 

(image- Chelsea Victora Photography, available in her Etsy shop).