How To Spend An Afternoon in Paris

First, decide that you're going to behave like a local while acting like a tourist.

Pack a bag with a fresh baguette, cheese, french butter, grapes, chocolate, strawberries and a big bottle of wine. Forget the glasses or any real serving ware.

Hop on the metro and exit at a stop within walking distance of the Eiffel Tower, where you settle to enjoy your picnic.

Drink publicly, straight from the bottle. 

Eat absolutely everything and lick your fingers afterward. Lay on the grass and listen to the happy tune of an old man playing the acordian a few yards away. Take lots of photos.

Allow yourself minimal time to sober up after sharing an entire bottle of wine, and then start walking.

Admire the true blue dream of sky and spell-binding architecture. Consult the map, because you might be lost.

Accidentally find your way into the Tuileries Gardens. Feel excited that you stumbled upon one of the most famous landmarks in the city without the guidance of your map.

Take a few pictures of chairs.

Wander aimlessly. Experience a strong sense of joie de vivre, wholly inspired by the way your surroundings make you feel.

Continue walking until you come face to face with the Louvre. Decide that it is much nicer looking than the Met. Sorry, New York.

Snap several photos of the exterior and pretend like what they said in "The DaVinci Code" is true. Smile secretly, because you kind of believe it is.

Keep smiling and walking until your feet hurt and your whole body aches but you don't care a bit because you just spent another perfect afternoon traversing Paris.